Insecurities

So today I'm going to do a more personal blog, I did have plans to write something different but I think I'll save it for next week. My plan for the next couple of weeks is to build up a better relationship with my audience and hope that you will provide me with your own opinions. As such for this week I'm going to be discussing my own insecurities, and boy do I have a lot. I know that everyone does and it's always interesting to think of how these came about. Understandably our culture has a lot to do with it, we are surrounded by all these expectations: the perfect body, the perfect skin, and of course everything to do with our personal lives. So it's not surprising that we end up so self conscious.

Now being a sensitive person I am incredibly susceptible to things like this. My biggest worry at the moment is that I'm not dating. I know how ridiculous this sounds but its true. I am a very quiet person so I don't attract very much attention as it is and all my life I've struggled with image issues so the fact that evidently no takes much of an interest in me is really not helping that. Now I'm not very social which I am aware is a big factor in this but I'm working on it. Something else that doesn't help is that my best friend happens to be getting married, and I am the maid of honour. We've just gone dress shopping and wedding preparations have begun which leaves me feeling more vulnerable then ever. Don't get me wrong, I adore my friend and her fiancé and I'm so glad that I'm so involved in the wedding however my feelings continue to hit me with that loneliness.

Over the past couple of years my insecurities about my looks and my body shape have decreased tremendously. I no longer feel like I need to cover up my face with makeup or freak out about how clothes fit on my body. This decreased worry about my looks has really increased my confidence and helped improve my communication skills with other people. This is because I'm no longer worrying about how I look and I can start really thinking about what they're saying and of course it gives me the confidence to go up to others. This change started by some advice that i got. Everyday when I looked in my mirror I had to find something I liked about myself. Simple but obviously effective.

Another of my big insecurities is actually to do with my writing. I started this blog as a way to get my opinions out there and to become a part of the major online community. I wanted to provide intelligent musings and create something that people looked forward to reading every week. I suppose I have set really high standard for myself because I've only had this running for a couple of months and I feel as though its not going so well. However I do suppose that I almost expected rating to boom within a couple of weeks. As such I am always looking for ways to improve my blog and attract more readers. And I am constantly looking to get feedback on it. I know I ask this frequently but if you could just take a minute to say something, anything about my blog that would be great. Tips, suggestions, questions and ideas are so very welcome!

As I said I have many insecurities and I have provided you with my main ones but I have a lot of small and really ridiculous ones I thought I'd share as well. Now I am a fast reader most of the time but sometimes I like to take my time with my book and I take longer to read it. Now a while ago someone just made a really innocent remark about how it was taking me a while to read a book and ever since then I've felt this obligation to finish a book within a certain time frame. Almost as if I have a deadline or that people are judging me on how fast I read a book. I also hate feeling stupid in front of people, so when in new company I rarely say anything for fear of looking like an idiot. Even if its people I've known for a while, I am so reluctant to share an opinion on a subject in case it's the wrong one. Yeah, a wrong opinion.

So those are just some of the things that keep me up at night with worry. If you'd like please feel free to share your own or even some of your solutions for helping to getting rid of these feelings. As I said this is an incredibly personal topic which obviously I am very sensitive about so if you do comment, please no hate. I have not written this to gain pity, I'm not fishing for compliments. I'm writing this to build a relationship with my audience. Or you rather. And please once again do comment and give feedback or I will be once again left in the dark as to how this post was received. On that note I leave you for another week, may yours be wonderful! 

Mother's Day!!

Soooo today was hectic as all hell, I am so tired right now! None the less I have a duty and I will not forsake it. I am a fan of Mother's Day, mainly because my mother is an amazing woman and I love to pamper her. Speaking of which I love to pamper everyone, you should have seen my friends 17th. The day began with an early start, bacon, eggs and mushrooms cooked for mummy. Then the Mother's Day gifts were handed out. Fortunately for me my mother is quite easy to buy for. For a start she provides a very generous list of potential gifts for every gift event. Despite this I do try to get her something unexpected. She is also a kitchen guru and really loves working in the kitchen so gifts for that are always welcome.

Then the day was hers, trips were made, money was spent and work was done by everyone else. And the time to prepare dinner came around. A roast chicken, roast veggies and peas were made for the first course and then for dessert a chocolate fudge cake. Now I went shopping for everything last night and as my luck would have it everyone was somehow sold out of fudge, except for one store (as it turns out) which closed when I got there. Literally, employees were just leaving when I got there. So I had to do a rush inventory of cupboard contents and make my own. Which worked quite well I must say.

So that was my Mother's Day, or rather my mothers Mother's Day. Fun, stressful and all worked out (eventually). Hopefully everyone else's worked out the same way. I will of course provide recipes for the roast chicken (which was magnificent) and the fabulous chocolate fudge cake along with fudge for emergencies. Provided someone actually wants them, so leave a comment and my next blog will include recipes.

All the best,
Cathy :)

Cornelia's mistake

Imagine with me for a minute will you. You're reading the final book in a series. Written by a writer you adore and written so brilliantly you're devastated that this is the last book. And finally you reach the climax of the book, where everything comes together. Where the most important plot point in the series, a plot point that has taken up the last 700 pages is finally resolved. You're reading the final showdown, the writings magnificent and the speed is thrilling and then...


The writer forgets their own story and writes the wrong thing.

Yeah, this happen to me recently. Let me tell you what happened. (Spoiler alert)

As most of you will know weeks ago I had began reading the Inkheart series and about three quarters through the second book, the hero of the story bound a book of immortality for the villain in exchange for the release of himself and other prisoners. However the catch was that three words could be written into the book to break his immortality. They were Heart, Spell and Death. Now these three words formed the plot line and governed the actions of the characters for about the next 700 pages or so, so you'd think that the author of this particular story would have remembered them. Not so. When the time came for the hero to write the words to kill the villain he instead wrote Heart, Blood and Death. Now I'm not being a stickler for details (I hope) but this was an important point and it does disappoint me that no one, not the author, not the publisher, realised what had happened. Being the Cornelia Funke fan that I am I can forgive her however I sincerely hope that this never happens again.

Oh who am I kidding, it happens all the time. However it does annoy me. If I can remember these details why not the person writing them. Shouldn't they be more involved then I am, especially when they create a whole new world. Or they could take notes. Now I do have an exceptional memory when it comes to stories (something that helped me tremendously in Literature classes) and I tend to remember the small things, even in life. Thus I don't expect everyone to be as observant as me but authors should be, always.

Moving on, I do recall (haha) promising the read 'The Princess Bride' and 'The Perks Of Being A Wallflower' over the past month and giving an opinion of them both however alas, this has not happened. Unfortunately making promises to read books is also conditional on having the money to buy said books. However I did read one for the dragon fans out there.

Seraphina, by Rachel Hartman
Now I can't really say too much about the plot of this book simply because it is one of these books that starts off in complete and utter mystery. I will however give you the blurb:
Dark betrayal and a sinister plot: a kingdom at war
The brutal murder of the prince of Goredd has shattered the fragile peace between humans and dragons.
Seraphina, a talented musician, is drawn into the murder investigation- and soon her own life is in terrible danger as she fights to hide the secret behind her amazing gift.
Can one girl unite two warring world?
Sounds exciting doesn't it. Now I can reveal that dragons and humans formed a peace treaty after a long a terrible war however most humans still distrust dragons. The fact that dragons can shape shift into humans only worsens the distrust. This book drew me in from the beginning and still hasn't let me go. The plot can be slow in some places however it built wonderfully and I am excited about book two, anticipated next year unfortunately. It got a wonderful review from Christopher Paolini ( something that encouraged me to read it) and I personally would recommend it to any dragon, adventure, or other world lover. It is truly magnificent.

The book I am currently reading is 'The Book Of General Ignorance' by John Lloyd and John Mitchinson. I love unexpected facts, I am the person who can tell you that dolphins rape 16 people every year, that we spell biscuit wrong (it means cake in the original French, to be biscuit it needs a k not a c) and that butchers were the original inventors of the high heel. So for me this book is fantastic and although I do disagree with some of the ways their facts are measured I would highly recommend it to any fact enthusiast.

Religion in the modern world part 2

Hi everyone, so a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post entitled 'religion in the modern world' and have decided after allot revisit the topic in a part two. These are certainly not my final thoughts on the subject however this will be my last blog for this particular topic.

In our modern, fast paced culture that stigma that goes with committing sins has decreased by quite a lot. As I previously mentioned going to church was a very social thing and in small towns everybody would know everybody else. Not going to church a couple of hundred years ago and even further back was almost unheard of but when someone missed even one sermon the entire town would be aware. Similar thing with sinning, the moment word got out everybody would know and unless you rectified your sin (and sometimes even then) you would spend the rest of your life as a pariah. However in today's world this rarely happens. Sinning has almost become a part of life for us and (unless the person is famous) most of the time sins go unnoticed. With a lessened social condemnation the advantages of having someone cleanse you and your soul are no longer as needed.

For decades word has been coming out about corruption within the church and some less than savoury practises especially within the Vatican. No I do not mean to say that all religious people are corrupt, after all I am one myself, however people looking into faith or to switching faith are far more hesitant to join a religion where such atrocities occur or one that does not 'practise what it preaches' (no pun intended). With societies new and complete awareness of almost every move the church makes (whatever church that may be) it is no wonder that religion is a dying thing.

Finally I would like to mention that the search for religion has become a search for spirituality in many cases. With our highly individualistic world the social religion is dying out and the individual spirituality is coming in. People are also looking for a way to better themselves rather than ask someone else to do it for them.

I am religious, not out of sheer hope but because I truly believe. Religion and the belief of a higher power has been around since the beginning of mankind. It has been shown that mankind as a whole is not truly inventive, we can not create something that does not exist, using parts that do not exist. Think, what is the most bizarre thing you can think of? Let me guess, it has eyes, and a mouth, arms and legs? Some sort of skin or feathering? We cannot create something that does not exist in some way, shape or form. And that is the most logical reason I can give you for me being religious.

The Boston Bombings

Once again a tragedy has shocked the globe, an attack has been made onto an international race, the Boston marathon. How people can justify not only an attack on such an event but the brutal murder of their fellow human beings is beyond me. The final figures for this bombing is tallied as such: 3 dead and over 170 injured. The three dead being 8 year old Martin Richard, 29 year old Krystle Campbell and 23 year old Lu Lingzi.

People, being the paranoid species that we are, have already developed several conspiracy theories concerning the nature of the bombing and who caused it. The first and foremost being that this was a staged terrorist attack formed by the navy. Apparently pictures released by the FBI show navy personnel wearing backpacks similar to those used as explosives. Now there several things that make this theory plausible and of course several that make it unlikely. I personally think that this was too unsuccessful an attack to be considered a terrorist attack, only three people were killed and although this is horrific, by terrorist standards its not significant damage. In addition it was not a particularly professional attack, there were two bomb sites and the second bomb (in the first aid tent) never went off. And of course of the two suspects that they have, one has been killed and the other seriously injured to the point of inability to speak.

The other side of it is that I can imagine the navy leaders organising something like this but how would they get their soldiers to comply with such an order.and what would have been the purpose of such an attack? If it was meant to coincide with North Koreas threats against the world then why would Russia have been blamed. Once again the attack was unorganised and the two brothers that were suspected reacted pretty extremely to the arrests. More bombs were set off and bullets went flying.

All in all I would imagine that the two brothers were responsible, maybe trying to impress a terrorist group, maybe acting as individuals. Although ploys by the navy are never clear I don't think there is enough reason to justify a staged attack against the nations. This was just one more tragedy created by peoples who for reasons unknown felt the need to kill innocents. My heart goes out to those affected and hope for a day where we will no longer have to worry about heartless attacks such as these.

Religion in the modern world

So my last week has been absolutely tragic. Recently I had helped to look after an undersized cat for my nan who is a breeder. Bindi (the cat) was 10 weeks old and only about a quarter of the size she should have been. As such she was quite sickly when she came to us however she rapidly improved. In days she put on weight and started becoming lively as she should. Unfortunately on Thursday night her body shut down, she suffered a stroke and passed away. I have no pictures of her otherwise I would include one.

Now I am religious and did find this a cruel turn of fate. I suppose fortunately I know my gods to be sometimes cruel and they have never pretended otherwise. However the event did turn my mind to a discussion I had in a literature class last year. We were studying a book called 'The French Lieutenants Woman' by John Fowles. It is an absolutely marvellous book and I will highly recommend it however, it is a difficult read and can get quite confusing. It does attempt (and achieve) to mimic the style of the Victorian age writers and does feature alternate endings. Because this book provides a mirror between the Victorian and the modern age and because it heavily discusses religion,it was only natural for one of the discussion topics to have been the difference of religion between the ages.

Of course religion has much less of a hold on today's society than on the Victorians and there are several reasons for this. The first and foremost of course being the incredible advancement of science in the past few centuries. One of the reasons for religion was to explain the unexplainable however now that we have science the need for reassurance through an unseen God is slowly disappearing. Now the main reason for religion is the fact that it has become almost a part of human nature. Religion has always existed and it is something we are raised with and as such it has become a tradition that we uphold. Another reason is the fact that humans are perpetually afraid of what happens after death. It is the only thing that we have no material proof of and it terrifies us. As such we place our faith in something that tries to explain it for us.

Another reason (in my opinion) for the lack of religion in our society is the reduced social interaction. Going to church in the Victorian age was not just for religious purposes but also to catch up with friends and other frequent church goers. You invited people to church with you and they introduced others to you at church. Now in our technology filled age we have constant contact to others and we do not need to use the church as a method of 'catch up'.

Just as a note I would like to point out that this is merely my opinion and what I believed to be true during my class discussion. It is by no means true for individuals but rather a very generalised view of society as a whole. Religion is an incredibly individual topic and I do not intend to offend or act as though I know everything about people's personal choices. I would like to revisit this topic in a few weeks as I do find it interesting and of course I have not nearly began to scratch the surface of it. Once again I will recommend 'The French Lieutenants Woman' to those who are up for a challenge and if anyone is open to it I am happy to have an I depth discussion about the book however you will have to contact me.

Once again thank you for reading and I'll write again in a week.

Telemarketing: the truth behind the phone

I must admit I was a bit stumped for a topic this week, eventually out of desperation so not to miss my self appointed deadline I asked my friends and one of them suggested this. Some of you will know that recently I have been working in an outbound call centre which basically means telemarketing. Now to be fair I do raise money for charities however the concept is still the same. This topic is one close to my heart simply because the job comes with a certain amount of abuse and I think that this is partly due to people forgetting that the one on the other end of the phone is in fact human as well.

Now in the company I've worked at we are a fairly close bunch and the people I met there are amazing. Despite what people think, telemarketers are not the social rejects. People go there for a multitude of reasons. I met one man from England who was travelling the world and stopped to work there because the money was good and the hours were easy before moving off again. Another man because it was what he was really good at, without harassing people. And of course many people who were in the midst of university with huge payments to make. So by no means are these unpleasant people.

Now typical procedure for my company dictated that in order to hang up we needed to get 3 nos from the customer. This means a no to the original ask. A no to the reinforced ask (giving them another reason to give) and then a no to a reduced ask (asking them to give a bit less than originally stated). After this we were to wish them a good day and hang up. Now I don't know if procedures are different for other companies but I'm fairly certain it is similar across the board. Now if you get someone who asks you only once then they are being nice or are just a passive person. A person who does ask you three times is simply trying to do their job and follow procedure. A person who continues to ask you and push is either having a really bad sale day and is just trying to reach target, trying to make a sale and do their job or is being a tad rude.

But the thing that people do forget or do not understand is that it is a job and there are hourly targets to reach. High targets too. Overall about one in every three calls has to be a sale which is a harder thing to do than it sounds. And despite being in need of employees if you cannot reach your targets constantly over a long period of time than you will lose your job. Most people do not last long in a telemarketing position. A long term position for my company is considered only 3 months and anything past that you are put on the honour wall. And for a company that goes through so many employees, let me tell you there are not many names on that wall.

So next time you get a call from a telemarketer, be polite. Try to understand the difficulty of doing your job. Be upfront but don't hang up. Treat them like they are human and don't rant at them just because you can.

Alright, that's my spiel for the week and if you don't here from me by next Sunday then you may have to assume that I've been assassinated by telemarketing ninjas for revealing vital secrets.